one year...

This time last year I was about 12 hours past having taken my Bravelle & Repronex shot (see "stimulated"...), and we were into the "crunch time" for the ivf. the regular monitoring, testing, etc ). How times have changed. Now i'm watching a cute lil man smack the zebra & elephant on his bouncy chair, and man, he just gets smarter & smarter every day. I heart him - such a little lovey man. I'll share his four month (!!!) pics on Wednesday. Promise.

one year ago..

it was cd1, cycle 0 (aka, cycle where suppression meds started prior to ER/ET cycle). and wow, how things have changed. last year i was on a work trip and had to call in cd1 from the hotel during a break in our mtgs. today? i am sitting in baby's room with a 2.5month old precious little man curled up in my arms.

had i known what the next few months would hold, especialy with respect to hubs' health, I we probably would not have proceeded with the ivf at that time (ever??).. to say things have been a challenge is an understatement.. but i love my little man more than anything, and wouldn't change him for the world (not even for a girl!). I do believe that things happen for a reason, so he's meant to be here, challenges or no.

what will the next year hold? only time will tell...

best birthday gift ever

I just changed the stinky butt of my best birthday gift ever (again... takes a bit longer to write a post these days...)

when i was younger, and oh-so-naïve (ooh! umlauts!!) I swore I'd be "done having kids by the time I was 30. I [didn't] want to be an old mom..." well, thanks to infertility & not being married til close to 30, I had to change that to "i want to be a mom by 35.." and because Nommer was early, I'm almost a month into being a mom today, my 35th birthday...


So hard to believe that after years of hurry up & wait, that this perfect little dude would come & change our lives forever. And in time for my birthday - thank you baby, for making this dreama reality :)

Onto 2009

Man, I hope that 2009 is a bit happier than 2008, for all of us. Even though I can't say 2008 sucked, per se, it still wasn't the greatest. I think our relationship overall is SO much stronger than before (I don't even want to think of the winter 2005-2006 it was so god-awful), we had some kick-ass vacations, made and continued some wonderful friendships, started a new job that I really like and we're doing just a-okay overall. But the damn infertility stuff just hangs over my head. I had some delusional thoughts that this month would be great - I'd test positive on Christmas Day, be able to tell family at Sviat Vechir (Ukie Xmas Eve) on the 6th, blah, blah blah. Silly me. Nope, I wake up to cramps and my period instead. So another trip back to the 'Peg without good news. I am so grateful that our families don't bug us. I say it's because they don't care, James says "No, they care, they're just not rude". Hah.

Meanwhile, I don't think I've consumed more wine in my life than I have in the past few weeks. Figure I'll get my drinking in while I can - I suspect I'll probably cut back severely once we get the call from RFP. I have a gym membership that is languishing in non-usage, but again, after the holidays, I hope to get back at it. I'm fatter than I've ever been, my feet are killing me, I get tired easily and I know it's because I haven't been working out and keeping my body in at least maintenance shape.

Big hugs to everyone. And a very happy 2009 to all of us.