best birthday gift ever

I just changed the stinky butt of my best birthday gift ever (again... takes a bit longer to write a post these days...)

when i was younger, and oh-so-naïve (ooh! umlauts!!) I swore I'd be "done having kids by the time I was 30. I [didn't] want to be an old mom..." well, thanks to infertility & not being married til close to 30, I had to change that to "i want to be a mom by 35.." and because Nommer was early, I'm almost a month into being a mom today, my 35th birthday...


So hard to believe that after years of hurry up & wait, that this perfect little dude would come & change our lives forever. And in time for my birthday - thank you baby, for making this dreama reality :)

oops...

didn't realize it'd been almost a month since I last posted. Bad bad blogger/mommy. I've been busy though. Crazy crazy busy. Dad left at the beg of the month, then it was Thanksgiving, and then I headed out west to visit the rest of the fam for my last solo(ish) trip. Had a great trip, visited with friends & family, even met my future daughter-in-law! See, most of my friends here have boys... like, overwhelmingly so. And all the babies to be in the next while that I'm aware of are also boys. So when a friend in SK had a little girl at the end of Sept, I claimed her as my baby boy's bride-to-be. :D

anyway. Things have been going along pretty well here... had another ultrasound on the 14th and baby's up to about 2lbs already! Still in the 90th percentile for growth - "a big baby...", and cute as ever (you can see latest ultrasound pic here)...

A good friend threw a shower for us today, and our friends spoiled us/baby rotten :) I didn't take any pictures at the shower (waiting for pics from a friend), but I did take one shot of the goodies after we got home. outfits, toys, washcloths & such - so  much baby goodness <3 One of my favorite pieces though, is the following onesie - isn't it awesome? :D


I will add more pics from the day and a more detailed recap later, but for now I'll just say it was a great day with good friends, good food, games  & some super cute baby gear :) Thanks again to all those who made this a super special day & those who couldn't make it but sent gifts.

Beta day!

I was at the hospital for 8 am today, and out about 8:40.. ran a bunch of errands, and was at the spa when i saw a missed call on my cell (10:30!). It was the clinic, and my nails hadn't been done yet, so I called them back, and got the great news... My beta number was 585, which for almost 5 weeks is 'great' according to the clinic. Especially when you take the general nausea into consideration as well... Apparently there's no way to tell from beta numbers whether the woman is carrying mults or not... just have to wait til the 22nd of June, when we have our first ultrasound. CANNOT wait.

According to the clinic, my due date is Feb 1. The IVF.ca calculator I referred to back in this post calculated Jan 31... my birthday is the 30th... I'll stick with the 31st for now, but really, "baby will come when s/he/they are ready" right? :P

Broke down...

this is (epically (yes, that's a word) ) long, sorry.

So ya, I broke down and called my parents after work yesterday to give them the good news.
Mom answered first, so once we got over the initial pleasantries, things went something like this..
C(helle) ya, things are going pretty well over here. Actually, that's why I'm calling. I've got some news for you..
M(om) oh?
C: ya, um, we did our IVF cycle this past month, and looks like we're expecting!
M: oh Michelle, that's wonderful!!!
C: *grinning* thanks, we're pretty excited. It's pretty early, but I wanted to let you know what was going on..
M: just one second, let me get your father.. *calls down* Julius! Get on the phone! Michelle wants to tell you something!
D(ad-zilla): *mumbles*
M: (to dad) do that later! Just pick up the phone!
M: (to me) He's folding laundry. He'll be on in a second…
C: no worries.. Sorry for holding out on you guys.. I just wanted to be able to surprise you..
M: Well, I knew you were working up to it, but wasn't sure when it was going to happen..
*Dad joins in then*
D: hello?
C: hey dad…. So um, how would you feel about being a grandfather again?
D: *verklempt* Oh!!! Wow… I'd like that!
C: good, that'll happen sometime in January.. I'm technically due Jan 31, but I'm sure that will change… Also, there's a good chance it's multiples, so possibly early Jan… I have a blood test on Monday, that will give an idea, but will know how many for sure in about a month when we have our first u/s… 

Needless to say they were pretty excited.:D

I had been planning (um, forever) to send them a picture frame I'd picked up eons ago, with the baby poem in it and have them find out that way, but oh my god, the wait would've been excruciating. I'll still send it out to them, but I just couldn't keep them out of the loop any longer.

I explained that Kim knew, because I needed to tell someone  'family' JIC something happened… They were cool with that - understood that I wanted to be able to surprise them, etc. I apologized (again) for holding out on telling them, and gave them the background on why it took so long to get the cycle going & how I've been feeling (fine, for the most part). Mom said that when she was pg with me (same time of year, obv, where the baby's due the day after my birthday), she felt the 'best she's ever felt!" but that each pg is different, etc. She asked if she could tell my aunt & ext. family there in Regina tonight when they get together for my uncle's bday, and I said that was fine, but to tell my cousins to keep it off FB (J's sis doesn't know yet, etc). I said we were telling close friends & family nowish, but general public won't know until later on.

So ya, that was it pretty much. They're thrilled for us & I feel so much better now that they're in the loop. I can't wait for Monday's test, bc having the official numbers would be good. I do feel very positive about the pregnancy - there's no history of m/c or anything in the fam, and well, the more positive one is, the better.

what do these images have to do with IF?

well, nothing really :P But...
I had my followup with the OB this afternoon - all's clear (ie green light). What does this mean? Well, on Monday I'll call the clinic, and request an appt for J & I to see where things lay. I'm sure all the swabs & such will come back clear, so that means if I ever get my next period (and don't you worry, I'll have provera lined up ready to roll for after day 35 or so), we could start cycle 0. So yes, the chickens (well, usually ducks, but let's go with chickens) are starting to get in a row (2nd pic)

 

DGT could be here as soon as Mar 10. Which would mean meds start Mar 31ish, ER/ET near the end of April. eeeeeeeeeeek. omg, y'all have no clue how excited I was after that appt... I felt like this guy:

Aaah the indignity of infertility

Nothing says fun like sitting in the hallway of a hospital in a gown and robe, naked from the waist down, except your black socks and pink shoes still on. Then to have a speculum shoved into you, a catheter and then have your insides blown up full of dye. I never knew that one minute could be so much pain. That was a motherfucker of a procedure. I varied between trying to stay conscious and wanting to punch the doctor. Gotta love the HSG. :p On the bright side, looks like everything is all clear, though he couldn't get a good view of the left tube - likely because I was nearly on the freaking ceiling due to the pain. The pain luckily only really lasted during the procedure, but I did take the day off, which was wonderful. I love afternoon naps. :)

Also yesterday I had a good phone visit with my godmother. We chatted quite a bit about my infertility - she felt bad telling me about her son's wife expecting (who is nearly 10 years younger than me) - but it didn't feel bad. I'm not saying that no announcements will make me unhappy in the future, but I feel a bit of calm right now. Even my godmother said that I had a "lightness" in my voice and it's true - I'm surprisingly happy these days - which is a miracle considering how awful I can get this time of year. Let's hope the happiness continues.