Pediatrician appt

Back at J's 9month appt, our doctor noted that at 25lbs, 30in & 50cm head circumference, Joel was close to off the charts on all counts except for head circ - and for that, he was off the charts. So, to check that out (can be sign of problems), we were referred to the clinic's pediatrician (usually just see GP). Our appointment was yesterday, and in two months, J has grown to 28 lbs (!!!), 31.25" and 51cm head circ. She was happy with his neuro & physical development though, he's just a large, happy child.

As the point of the appt was to check on his head size, the dr. first plotted his earlier measurements on her chart, and then she measured him, then measured his dad & I. I was also off the charts for headsize, and i think dad was close... Which led her to "diagnose" J with Benign Familial Megalencephaly... basically, it's Latin for "you have a large head because your parents have large heads" :P Which really, is fairly apparent from looking at us, but whatever. I mean look: three ppl with large heads. At least we're cute, right?

The Hanways, Oct 2011. Photo courtesy Inspired Images (full photoshoot here)

We have a follow up appt to make sure his head is growing proportionally, but the dr wasn't concerned, so neither are we. FTR, his head is only 8 cm smaller around than mine. EEK!

Oh, and because I can, here's his first pic with Santa. I wish they'd gotten a bit closer up, but ah well. He's pretty tired, but isn't screaming his head off, so I declare a win! :)

Thoughts of a second...

As we decided to do our IVF cycle, we always said it was a "one-time" thing. And thank God it worked, as we now have our precious bub. Keeping in mind we said "one-time" I've given away a ton of his baby clothes already, sold my maternity clothes, etc. But now that he's getting close to a year (8 months already & yes I realize I'm a horrid blogger), we keep throwing around mention of a sibling for lil J. I have always wanted more than one child, and while I think lil J is awesome-sauce (and then some), I would so love for him to have a sibling. And honestly, I don't feel that I'm "done" having kids yet, whatever that means. I rather liked being pregnant, and a new squishy baby would be awesome. But then two carseats, daycare for two. More mental strain, bc hey, those first few months were NOT great for any of us.

Of course, trying for a sibling means dipping into the LOC for fundage & riding the whole IVF rollercoaster again. Before we do that tho, there are a few things that would need to happen first though, namely lose some weight (like 50 lbs, ideally more) & talk to my dr & clinic on timeline, as i'm 35.5 now, and the longer we wait, the worse the odds get. I would think that cycling next summer (June-July as cycle 0) would be best, but that could be moving a bit quickly. And then with cycling comes all the other logistics - work, kidlet, etc. I think I would ask my mom or sis to come out to help Joel-wrangle during ER/ET/start of 2ww, as he would be 18-ish months next summer... I would take vacay at work because "family's in town" and not let everyone at work know abt IVF... We'd probably look at moving too... As much as I like our house, It's not great for having a newborn, imo. Especially if I have to have another C-section (which I'm leaning towards, and which hubs & I have talked abt a few times...)

But who knows? Maybe this is all just a pipe dream. Maybe Joel will be our one & only, but I'd like to know we gave it a shot at giving him a sibling, regardless of the cost (mentally & financially).

I'm here!!

Hi. My name is Joel Adams Gregory H., and mommy wanted me to let you know that I arrived January 4, 2011 at 8:51pm. I weighed 7lbs and was 20.5" long! Not bad for showing up a month early to my own party :)

I had a bit of a rough start, but mommy, daddy & I have been home since Sunday, and I'm quite happy with the place.

Mommy wanted me to let you know she's working on a longer post, but I guess I'm keeping her a bit busy these days.

oh well. snack time! bye bye for now... oh, here's a picture of me that mommy snapped in the recovery room shortly after i was born... aren't i cute??

Reflections on Christmas...

past & present. And future, although I realize those won't be reflections :P
As J & I wind down from a decidedly low-key day, I can't help but think about how markedly different this Christmas is from last & from what we will be (most likely) experiencing this time next year.

Last year, as in all Christmasses past, we were childless. I spent the holidays with my fam in SK & J with his fam here in NS. IVF was 'in the works' and had been for a while, but so many little obstacles popped up, as is always the way.

This year, I'm 34.5w pregnant after our first IVF attempt was successful. Our son is squirming around in my tummy as I type ("hi Sparkle!!")... This year we didn't exchange gifts with our families - "the baby is everyone's (slightly belated) gift", we said. We were able to get up at our leisure & open the few gifts we had, dine on toast & bacon for brekkie, nap & play Angry Birds to our content, and even throw together a decent turkey-esque dinner...

Next year though, is when the fun will really begin. We will most likely have an 11-11.5mon old in the house, and while he won't "get" Christmas yet, I suspect the energy will be very, very different. We'll have a tree up again (not my little ceramic one that mom made many moons ago), and it will be our little mister's First Christmas. Santa & Christmas Spirit will be alive again, stockings will be hung... somewhere? Gifts from Mommy & Daddy, grandparents & Santa under the tree... I can't wait. Sure, it'll be a bit chaotic - aren't most family holidays though? And isn't the chaos of the toys & wrapping paper, etc what it's all about? "They" say Christmas is for the kids, and I think they're right (whoever they are)... and honestly, I can't wait. God knows we've done enough waiting round these parts.

To those reading whose dreams haven't come true yet, I truly hope 2011 is your year.

Broke down...

this is (epically (yes, that's a word) ) long, sorry.

So ya, I broke down and called my parents after work yesterday to give them the good news.
Mom answered first, so once we got over the initial pleasantries, things went something like this..
C(helle) ya, things are going pretty well over here. Actually, that's why I'm calling. I've got some news for you..
M(om) oh?
C: ya, um, we did our IVF cycle this past month, and looks like we're expecting!
M: oh Michelle, that's wonderful!!!
C: *grinning* thanks, we're pretty excited. It's pretty early, but I wanted to let you know what was going on..
M: just one second, let me get your father.. *calls down* Julius! Get on the phone! Michelle wants to tell you something!
D(ad-zilla): *mumbles*
M: (to dad) do that later! Just pick up the phone!
M: (to me) He's folding laundry. He'll be on in a second…
C: no worries.. Sorry for holding out on you guys.. I just wanted to be able to surprise you..
M: Well, I knew you were working up to it, but wasn't sure when it was going to happen..
*Dad joins in then*
D: hello?
C: hey dad…. So um, how would you feel about being a grandfather again?
D: *verklempt* Oh!!! Wow… I'd like that!
C: good, that'll happen sometime in January.. I'm technically due Jan 31, but I'm sure that will change… Also, there's a good chance it's multiples, so possibly early Jan… I have a blood test on Monday, that will give an idea, but will know how many for sure in about a month when we have our first u/s… 

Needless to say they were pretty excited.:D

I had been planning (um, forever) to send them a picture frame I'd picked up eons ago, with the baby poem in it and have them find out that way, but oh my god, the wait would've been excruciating. I'll still send it out to them, but I just couldn't keep them out of the loop any longer.

I explained that Kim knew, because I needed to tell someone  'family' JIC something happened… They were cool with that - understood that I wanted to be able to surprise them, etc. I apologized (again) for holding out on telling them, and gave them the background on why it took so long to get the cycle going & how I've been feeling (fine, for the most part). Mom said that when she was pg with me (same time of year, obv, where the baby's due the day after my birthday), she felt the 'best she's ever felt!" but that each pg is different, etc. She asked if she could tell my aunt & ext. family there in Regina tonight when they get together for my uncle's bday, and I said that was fine, but to tell my cousins to keep it off FB (J's sis doesn't know yet, etc). I said we were telling close friends & family nowish, but general public won't know until later on.

So ya, that was it pretty much. They're thrilled for us & I feel so much better now that they're in the loop. I can't wait for Monday's test, bc having the official numbers would be good. I do feel very positive about the pregnancy - there's no history of m/c or anything in the fam, and well, the more positive one is, the better.

The elephant in the room...

So, I'm here, at my parents place and I *want* to tell my mom about our IF shit, and the recent IVF holdups, but at the same time, I don't want to bring it up. There are always others around, and it just feels like it's always the wrong time. I feel bad for holding the info from her, and I know she'll be hurt, but at the same time, it feels awkward now to tell her we've been "about to start IVF since April" because I didn't want to tell for so long. A pregnancy announcement obviously isn't going to be their xmas gift this year, so no sense in keeping the secret, i suppose. I just don't know how to do it so it's on my terms & not get harrassed about it... bah. It just feels like a big elephant in the room. I said that to my sis (who kinda knows where things are at), and she said she doesn't feel that at all, but i dunno. BLAH.

in other news, I am pretty sure mom doesn't think i'm pg at least... which I was worried about, although dispelling that would've at least given me an "IN" if she would've asked.

Bah. why do things have to be so complicated? why did i have to make this more complicated than necessary??

Thank goodness I don't own a videophone

On the phone with mom today. Says she saw my cousin today and "you're not supposed to know yet, but..." - yuppers, my cousin, who is 6 months older than me, who I grew up with, who lived down the road from me, is pregnant with her third child. FUUCCCKKKK. I managed to squeak out a "oh" and then tried not to have a shakey voice for the rest of the conversation. Meanwhile, tears were streaming down my face. Nice. At work, to boot. Mom doesn't know anything about us having issues and well, I wasn't going to bring it up during this phone call.

Glad to get that out.