spare some good thoughts for these families, please??

i found out yesterday that my friend S who did IVF the same time we did had her twins this past Monday at 29w6d. the little guys were just under 2&3 lbs and are in NICU right now, but she says they're doing well. it's a bit surreal to think that it could've been us having the baby already - i mean, they were ready to admit me last week, so...

coincedentally, a girl i follow on twitter (Jenny from What the Blog?) had her triplets on monday as well (28w1d)... again, babies are in NICU, but doing well given the circumstances.

So, if you've got a prayer or good thought you could send to these families with long roads ahead, i'm sure they'd appreciate it.

Pictures (no particular order)

We got the crib set up today, and picked up the dresser. The glider is also in, but they had it stored behind a whole bunch of stuff, so we told 'em we'd be back later this week. Crib is pretty though, no? And the dark wood will indeed tone down the bright green. Phew!

I was in PEI for work most of this past week, and my hotel room had a full length mirror, so I took the opportunity to take a 26week belly shot. I'm sorry this is dark, but it's the only one that's not blurry. Definitely getting a belly though (and this was before I ate out for 4 days straight!)...

Here are some shots from the shower. I don't have pictures of everything, but trust me, there was a lot of loot.

oops...

didn't realize it'd been almost a month since I last posted. Bad bad blogger/mommy. I've been busy though. Crazy crazy busy. Dad left at the beg of the month, then it was Thanksgiving, and then I headed out west to visit the rest of the fam for my last solo(ish) trip. Had a great trip, visited with friends & family, even met my future daughter-in-law! See, most of my friends here have boys... like, overwhelmingly so. And all the babies to be in the next while that I'm aware of are also boys. So when a friend in SK had a little girl at the end of Sept, I claimed her as my baby boy's bride-to-be. :D

anyway. Things have been going along pretty well here... had another ultrasound on the 14th and baby's up to about 2lbs already! Still in the 90th percentile for growth - "a big baby...", and cute as ever (you can see latest ultrasound pic here)...

A good friend threw a shower for us today, and our friends spoiled us/baby rotten :) I didn't take any pictures at the shower (waiting for pics from a friend), but I did take one shot of the goodies after we got home. outfits, toys, washcloths & such - so  much baby goodness <3 One of my favorite pieces though, is the following onesie - isn't it awesome? :D


I will add more pics from the day and a more detailed recap later, but for now I'll just say it was a great day with good friends, good food, games  & some super cute baby gear :) Thanks again to all those who made this a super special day & those who couldn't make it but sent gifts.

Eeek! Shower time!

A friend messaged me last night asking if there were any plans for a baby shower yet, and if not, if I'd like her to host it. As far as I had known, there were no plans, so we chatted and came up with a plan, and now, a date!

some deets for the locals...

Sunday Oct 24

1-4 pm,

Tacoma Sobey's, Dart NS.

a map will be provided with the invites, all of which will go out, um, sometime in the next little bit I guess :)

I'm a bit in shock. For some reason, this makes it seem more 'real' that there's a baby on the way :P

First baby gift!

Isn't this adorable?? There was a parcel in our mailbox today, and it was this darling sweater from my friend Tasha in SK... (same person who knit the cow sweater in this pic). I just love it. And so glad that the sweaters will be able to be put to use soon. Yay for babies!! and yay for fabulous friends :)

PG after I(V)F...

...and I feel guilty for leaving IF friends behind. I wonder how our pregnancy will change some of my friendships with kewl infertiles, even those who I've known much longer than we've been dealing with IF. We have gone through four years of doctors, blood tests, meds, procedures (HSG, SA/SFA), appointments and WAITING, and were blessed to get pregnant during our first (and probably only) attempt at IVF (thanks, ICSI). Does that mean I won't remember what it's like to want something and not be able to have it? I don't think so. I still remember what it's been like everytime a friend announced a pg (or two), the birthday parties we were (or weren't) invited to, the showers which while celebrating the baby-to-be still hurt a bit, etc.

The thought that some of my good friendships could be (have been) strained by our news makes me sad. My friends are very important to me, and I hate being in situations where these friendships are strained.

For gals who have been in the same situation, is there anyway to avoid this happening? way to fix it? am i doomed?

bah.

I broke down

Fyi : 2-pks of pee sticks are on sale at Shoppers. 2-2pks are an even better deal. I can't resist a deal (see where this is going?)

Yup, i bought pee tests, even though i swore i wouldn't. I'll test when i getup in the middle of the night, and then, i dunno. I realize any + i get now is trigger, that's cool. Or that it could be a neg right now. That's ok too. It won't be two weeks from now, but at this point, am ok.

In other news, i had coffee (well, iced tea) with another girl from our clinic who has been cycling at the same time. We did our ERs the same day, and her blasts made it to 5dt. It was great to chat with someone who was going thru the same things, dealing with the same ppl, etc. We ended up having a lot in common - both relocated prairie girls (she's from Regina/edmonton), same dates, etc. We may meetup again next week, see how 2ww is going, etc.

best words of advice...

from a friend in TX - "rest? YES. Dream? YES. You are going to be the BME (best mom ever). LET someone take care of you."  ♥♥♥

and that's kinda the plan. i'm off work until next wednesday, and just going to lay low & take it easy. we'll go out to see friends tonight, and i have acu tomorrow afternoon. 

Whew...

As I've mentioned, I'm a term employee at the moment. When we started looking into really going through with IVF, I checked out the gov. policies for leave & term employees... So, for the last oh lord, 6-8 months maybe, I've been under the assumption that as a term employee, I would be severely limited in the amount of leave I could take, before my seniority at work was reset. Basically, I thought that I could take no more than 60 calendar days of leave (yes, 8.5 weeks) for mat leave.

I was chatting with a good friend last night (who just happens to be a lawyer), and mentioned this whole 60-day thing. She was flabbergasted -"I'm pretty sure that's illegal!"... so I found the relevant parts of our contract & the term employee guidelines, and I'm quite happy to say I was wrong! *MUCH REJOICING*  Looks like I'll be entitled to the same leave as everyone else, and taking more than 60 days will not reset my 'counter' to zero*. PHEW. The plan is still for J & I to roughly split the leave, but it's just so much better that I won't have to go back so soon... y'know, if this whole thing works in the first place :P

*Another part of our contract states that if we have been employed cumulatively for 3 years, term employees automatically become permanent. I'm at 15.5 months right now, and if things progress as hoped, I will have about 2.25 years in when the baby(s) arrive. I didn't want to lose 2+ years of time, but didn't want to take only 60 days of mat leave either. Now? best of both worlds... :)

The fat kid on the track...

think back to when you were in phys. ed. remember the 'fat kid on the track' when you were running? The one who got lapped by the rest of the class? That was probably me, and well, as far as IF goes, it still is. Yup, I was lapped (again) today, pg wise...

I found out today that a friend is expecting her 2nd. They weren't actively trying, but well, apparently for some people, these things happen :P I am happy for them, but with IVF almost within reach, I am a bit sad too. I had hoped that we might be the next announcement. I don't know why I still hope that "it could be us next"... those feelings get me in more trouble than they're worth, honestly.

no real point, just wonder when it'll be our turn to make the announcement. or if we'll get one at all...

Nov 11...

I received an email this morning from a friend/crafty customer who I'll be seeing later today. She was just giving me a head's up that she's 11 weeks pg, due in early June. I replied, thanking her for the notice, and to congratulate her & wish her a healthy pregnancy. Her DD is 3.5 years old, and has undergone 3 open-heart surgeries in her short life.  The last thing this family needs is ill wishes, y'know? And that email got me feeling a bit down for us - "oh boo hoo, we still don't have kids. These folks have fought a totally different battle, but they're still going on for baby #2, yadda yadda..."

Today is Remembrance Day - a day to reflect & remember those who have fought for our freedom, and in too many cases, lost their lives. There was an story featuring the widow of Master Cpl Scott Vernelli. When Master Cpl Vernelli was killed on Mar 20/09, he left behind his wife & then 6-m.o. daughter. The couple was blessed with a baby, but now his widow has to bring up their child without her partner at her side. She is teaching their daughter about her dad, but I just had tears in my eyes through the whole story.

Their story really made me think... sure, infertility blows, but really, life blows all sorts of ways. Infertility is our challenge or struggle, but everyone has their own (or two or three). If J & I are ever blessed with a child, I can be (fairly) confident that J will be with me to raise him/her in the years to come. Master Cpl Vernelli's wife's challenge is now to raise their daughter without her husband at her side. So really, if I had to pick, I'd rather work a bit harder to have a child than to have to raise him/her without my husband at my side. To that, I have to thank Master Cpl Vernelli and all those who have lost their lives trying to make this world a better place for us - and our children. This family will be on my mind for a long time....

So close...

Check out tertia's blog So Close - Life after Infertility. She's a great blogger and has some wicked posts on her sidebar for dealing with infertility. One is entitled "How to be Good Friends with an Infertile'. Read it. Pass it along (giving credit where it's due!!). Not saying you're not all fab friends, because you are, but still. There's always stuff to be learned from posts like that.

i will return later with a more blathery post. (aren't y'all lucky???)

Bit melancholy

Last night was a Christmas Party. Other than the hostess, who she and her husband have decided not to have children by choice, everyone else was either knocked up, had a child(ren) or both. I'll be honest - I wasn't the most comfortable there. I came alone, as hubby didn't really want to go, and there was another party that he wanted to attend more. Of course, most of the conversation was about kids/pregnancy/childbirth/etc etc etc . I walked in with a sadness and left with a profound sadness. I couldn't contribute to basically any of it and while I should be so happy for everyone, it just was hard. That's not to say that there wasn't ANY other conversation, as always, you tend to leave with certain memories, right?

I"m really trying to decide if I need to distance myself again. But unfortunately, that means losing basically the only group of girls I hang out with. All of them, except for three or four. I just don't know what to do right now. I think all of my previous attempts have failed, so I guess we'll just see.