Fork.

What a morning. And ya, it's 9:30. The HSG turned out to be a no-go. Well, it's not like the appointment was canceled or anything, just my effing body would not cooperate. The dr. was able to get the speculums (and ya, plural - I think she tried 4 different ones...) in, but couldn't crank 'em open (at all) to get a view of my cervix. I 'felt' relaxed enough (hey, it's one thing that they could get the speculum in - that's usually even hard), but apparently I was involuntarily fighting the speculum. Well, *I* wasn't, my muscles were. Whatever. Regardless, I felt like the hugest moron evah. I'll chalk it up to the fact I couldn't take ativan like usual, bc I had to drive back home after (J's sick, and wouldn't be allowed near the hospital). I did take 2 Aleve (naproxen for us Cdns, available at WalMarts everywhere in the US) before the exam, which should've been enough, but I guess not.

I should've known though that it would be a crappy morning. I had to go up to the RE clinic before the HSG to have a pee test done "just in case" I was pg, and while I was sitting there waiting for the nurse, I heard her give the 'good news' to another couple that they were PG. Yes, bc that's what someone who has to pay $10K to TRY to have a baby wants to hear first thing in the morning. FORK.

AND, to top it off, I am writing an exam for a job this afternoon, and the last thing I want to do is study right now, I just want to wallow. Wallow in the forking unfair world of IF. I treated myself to an egg mcmuffin on the way home (and could've eaten like 3 more, but WW y'know), but blah. still feel like hell.

so, I guess I get to go through this again in a month or so. Blast. blaaaaaaast.