Thursday, July 12, 2012

Am I a smug?

I found out earlier in the week that a co-worker and his wife have been struggling with IF for a long time, to the tune of $30,000 with no success. My heart broke. All evening I thought about them, pretending to be a completely happy family of four (two fur-kids & the hubby & wife). And how lucky we were that our very first kick at IVF worked - and stuck - and that that little embryo is now a full 18 months old and starting in a real daycare in a week and a half? I want(ed) to reach out to them, to let them know that I understand that IF blows, and that having to pay for the opportunity to get pregnant blows goats.. but I just couldn't come up with something that wouldn't make it look like I was flaunting the fact that our IVF - our ONLY ivf - worked. Yup, IF blows, but we made it to the other side. Is it possible to even relate to someone who's still on the other side, and may never get the chance to be the awesome parents I know they would be now that I've got an, admittedly awesome, not-so-little guy?

I will try and post a Joel update soon.. this has just been on my mind all week and wanted to get it out there.



  1. I know this is really weighing on your mind because you have shared the same feelings they are experiencing. That being said, I can also relate to you because this is how I have felt so many times when my own friends have struggled with IF, including you. How do you show support when you feel like it can't ever fully be appreciated because you sense it will be overshadowed by the fact you have a child and they don't? It is such a hard spot to be in when your heart is so full of compassion for someone but the fact that you were able to conceive (no matter the method) was successful while they have not been able to share in that same joy. I don't know the answer, just know that I have known how helpless you feel to care so much yet feel like those feelings can never adequately be conveyed because of the recipient's own hurt. Hugs.

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