J & I went out for dinner a few nights ago, and it was one of the places with brown paper on the tables & crayons so you can doodle or whatever while waiting for your food. I love this, as I'm always doodling anyway, so hey, to be given crayons and everything? I"m set. ANYWAY.
J went to wash his hands while we were waiting for our food, and said to me as he got up "hey, draw me a pretty picture while I'm gone". The only pretty picture I could think of was a sign that said we were pregnant (which we're SO not). so I drew one, surrounded by happy faces and hearts (yes, i'm like a 12 year old girl). It made me sad though that the only happy thing I could think of was being pregnant. I showed him the 'picture' when he got back, and I just got a bit of a "oh, one of those moods" smile from him, and then I scribbled it out.
On one of the chat boards I frequent, there was a thread entitled "What are you looking forward to?". Basically, all I could think of was IVF. There's really nothing short term that I'm looking forward to. Not even Christmas - another year passing without adding to our family, no money to go visit my family, just blah. And we still can't erally make plans for IVF, as I'm not on the health plan yet, and my term hasn't been extended, etc. Just blows. Infertility blows.
something to share
9 years ago
Even though we're not IVF'ing, I completely understand. It just encompasses you and it's hard not to think about anything but having a baby. Especially as women - we're always aware of it!
ReplyDeleteBah. Yup, it does suck.